Black Women Dating Themselves: Choosing Joy After 40
Black women dating themselves is a conversation I want us to have more often, Sis, because spending time with yourself deserves a place on the calendar. In this part of my Becoming 50 journey, I took myself on a solo date and did a little shopping. I wanted to get out of the house, enjoy my own company, and choose me on purpose
That day gave me room to think about how I want to feel in this season of my life. I want to enjoy the life I’m living while I’m still figuring things out. And I want you to permit yourself to do the same.
Why Black Women Dating Themselves Matters After 40
Sis, when was the last time you planned something just because you wanted to? Something that had nothing to do with work, errands for someone else, or being available to everybody.
If you have to stop and think about it, maybe it’s time to make a little room for yourself.
For me, dating myself means paying attention to what I enjoy. It means giving my own wants some consideration when I decide how to spend my day. Becoming 50 has me thinking about that more intentionally. I want to know what brings me peace and make time for it regularly.
Black Women Dating Themselves Can Start Small
You don’t need an elaborate itinerary to take yourself out. Lunch at a place you’ve been wanting to try counts. So does browsing your favorite store or taking a quiet walk with time to enjoy your surroundings.
My solo date included shopping, and I enjoyed treating myself with intention. But you can plan a beautiful afternoon without buying anything. Choose something that fits your budget and feels good to you.
If going out alone feels unfamiliar, start with a short outing somewhere you feel comfortable. Give yourself a chance to discover what you like about having that time to yourself. You get to choose the place.
Making Joy Part of My Soft Life Reset
This day was part of my soft life reset. For me, that means allowing ease into everyday life and making space to enjoy myself without feeling like every moment has to be productive.
One thing I want to carry with me is that joy doesn’t have to be earned. I can choose it on an ordinary day, even when there are still things on my to-do list.
Sis, if you’re a black woman over 40 learning to put yourself first, pick a day this week and plan something small for yourself. Give it an actual place on your calendar. You deserve your own time and attention too.
Come spend some time with me in my Becoming 50 as Black Woman series
When was the last time you took yourself on a solo date? Tell me in the comments what you did, or what you’re planning next.
